When I originally decided to give my anaylsis of Beantown's current state in the sports universe I underestimated the task at hand. I understimated this task soo badly; I felt like the Hans in the original Die Hard when he underestimated John "Yippy-Kiyay-Motherfucking" Mclane.
Bottom Line: I decided to break up the piece. Lets see who should I start with? The Sox, Celts, Bruins, or actually...how about the PATRIOTS. Naturally, I will start with the beloved Pats. When a mother brags about her children, she doesn't talk about how good old Johnny is turning it around after rehab (see Celtics;Bruins). No, she talks about how Timmy is now a partner at the big law firm. We got to put our best foot forward here. So I will begin where the season ended...
"I always tell the girls, 'Never take it too seriously. If you take it to seriously you get hurt.' (Penny Lane, Almost Famous)." As Boston sports fans, we always take it too seriously. We were riding high with our improvable victory over Ladanian Tomlinson and the San Diego Chargers. This was huge. Did we expect anything less? No, not at this point. Tom terrific and the fellas pulled out another one. To add insult to injury Justin Timberlakes "Cry Me a River" was booming in the background of Tomlinson's press conference when he proclaimed the Patriots players were disrespectful in the way they handled their victory. Truely a great moment in Boston sports. Then Indy happened....
We knew our defens
e was outmatched. We knew we were the underdogs and going into a hostile environment. This was like Rocky going into Russia to battle Drago. Sure, the big bad Russian was all juiced up. But this was Rocky freaking Balboa. The southpaw from Philly who could get knocked down 29 times in the first 3 rounds but still win the fight in a split decision. The guy climbed a mountain to train for that fight. He had to have a chance; we had to have a chance. We had to believe. Just like we believed in every other Super Bowl run.We came out swinging. A 21-3 start and I could smell Miami. However, the wheels came loose. Inferiority caught up to us. We gave up 32 freaking points in the second half. My stomach was queezy. I was upset for a week. I got over it. Then the Super Bowl happened and I watched Peyton get his ring. Awful. Just awful. I sorta felt how the Yankees felt after the Sox finally triumphed. The thing was I liked being the metephorical Yankees. Always having dominance over that one team who was not always worse, but always managed to disapoint while we basked in glory. Even in years where the Patriots weren't the best we still could laugh in the Colts dismay. And when the Brady/Manning debate raged on; analysts would always be coerced to choose Brady. The reason: Peyton had not one the big one. Well the reign of supremacy was officially over....
A lot of people agree there is no sex like makeup sex. I guess the logical explanation is that both parties still have a little pent up anger that they work off in the sack. I know what you're thinking. "What the hell is he talking about?" Let me get to it. If we work this analogy into the Pats current state we would have to infer that the Indy loss was the WORST breakup in the history of breakups. Because this offseason has been like 3 or 4 months of incredible sex. This like a breakup between you and your girlfriend and she says, 'You know what I am wrong. You are completely right. To make it up to you. My friend and I are going to hibernate with you and have 7 threesomes a day for four months.'
We reloaded at the wide receiver position. Wes Welcer, Donte Stallworth, Kelly Washington all now Patriots. In addition we picked up the best defensive free agent of the offseason in Adalius Thomas. This guy is a beast. He can played multiple roles and is a playmaker. The best part is that Thomas adds to a defense that was already pretty damn good. The glaring weakness was the linebacking group which is aging. With the addition of Thomas we are back on track baby. It seemed Pats were set up pretty well for next season. Then draft day happened.
Our first round selection Brandon Merriweather is best known for beating another football player with his helmet and stomping on him in the infamous brawl in Miami. Not the greatest decision the kid ever made. He came off to the public as cold as Edward Norton when he beat the bag out of Jared Leto in Fight Club. Maybe a blessing in disguise for Pats fans as this caused Merrieweather's stock to drop. Not the best character guy, but he has got a lot of talent. Merriweather was a logical choice because he adds more depth to our secondary which includes an aging Rodney Harrison. Then the Pats made some waves....
The second day of the draft no one really watches unless you are a die hard football fan. One usually looks up the picks the next day just to see which players your team got and if any may have run a bell. The Pats made everyone turn on second-day draft coverage this year though.
They traded their fourth round selection for Randy Moss. Randy freaking Moss----a Patriot??? Sure, we had heard rumors floating around. But to see them come to life was as surreal as seeing Janet Jackson's nipple on national television. Could it happen? Yeah, do you expect it--- no way. Moss even took a huge pay cut. I am not sure of the figures but I think he is only making $3.3 million and he was supposed to make around $9 million. On top of that we only had to give up a 4th round pick. The risk/reward here is great and it is a great circumstance all around for both parties. Moss gets to get back on track on his way to Canton here joining a Super Bowl Contender and we....well we get to go 19-0 and become the greatest team ever. If Moss does not acclimate well---we cut him. No big deal for the Pats. They covered all of the angles and it is not like we are losing a great deal of cap room if it does not work out.I know what the criticism is here. Do these two additions dilude what has been a dynasty built on not only great players, but also commendable people? Not at all. Every dynasty has to have some bad apples along the way. It is not like the Pats are turning into the 90's Cowboys, and are all party animals and reckless. Besides here the system overtakes its parts. Look at examples like Harrison and Corey Dillon. Those guys did not have the best repuations coming into New England, but we cultivated them into our atmosphere. They adapt to us here; we do not make exceptions or adapt to them.
What does this all mean?
Now the Patriots first option at wide receiver, Reche Caldwell, is likely to be the fourth target (behind Moss, Stallworth, and Welcer). What does this do? This gives Tom Terrific more options then ever. I personally see huge breakout seasons coming from Wes Welcer and Ben Watson. Reason: with Moss and Stallworth posing deep threats the middle and underneath routes will be there for the taking. However as his history has shown Brady's favorite receiver is the open one. The only question mark is whether second-year running back Laurence Maroney will display the abilities we saw in him last year at times.
This is the first time Tom Brady has had weapons like this. Big numbers will come; and after our 19-0 season we will be holding our fourth Super Bowl title. Looks like little Timmy just started his own firm....
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